P.S i truly love you ...

i have been away for quite a while....
i just lost a dear friend , Sandra , known that gurl since i was 4 .
We were in the same kindergarten , went to the same primary , went to the same high school , and still kept in touch even though i went college and uni in kl .
Everytime when i came back from kl from holiday , she would always be the first one that rings me up or drop by my house to see me . Then we will always go badminton together , eat cendol together , eat her favourite mee rebus near the bukit ciina grave yard and asam laksa at jonker walk ...girl , do u know that u are actually the one that convince me and make me fell in love with asam laksa so much ..remember i always had curry laksa before ??!! And this summer when i came back and when i went and look for you ....you were asking me " am i the first one u met in melaka?"..i was reluctant to tell you coz i dont want to admit that i miss you and the fact that i love to hang out with you coz all these while i have always been acting like a big sister to you , and you know how i hate to admit the feeling that i felt for you ...thank you for treating me like your big sister .....i regretted now ...i should have told you that i miss you to infinity and i want to go badminton with you ..and i love talking to you all the time .
On the 12th of January , you send me the message "I'M COMING HOME!! i need some reward after being so stressed out while in KL. any awesome fun plans ? how about swimming ? haha'' at 1.27 pm ...i immediately called you tht i was in kl and i called u up to pick u up from midvalley ..u felt so sorry for making me to travel all the way from sunway to midvalley then travel to subang just to pick u up and go back to melaka ...it wasnt true at all ...i enjoyed every second that i spent with you ...do you know that u have the power to cheer sumeone's up ?? :) ..so on the way...u were complaining to me how u had a tough week handling your PTPN and you even called ur mother up and cried to her .....i felt so sorry now that i wasnt paying the full attention to ur stories and i really wished i had talked to you more . So i sent you home but to realize tat ur father werent in ...you were so afraid to mafan me coz i was offering you to come over to my hse to wait for your to come but instead ...u climb into ur hse and waited for your father at ur garden . sandra oh sandra ..so typical of you .....not wanting to trouble ppl !!!1
On the 13th ....we went US pizza together with cyeow , shiriam and grace ..and we had so much fun that afternoon catching up with each other ..and how you and shiriam would pour alot of cheese powder on ur pizza ..and you even poured like a mountain of cheese powder on the left over pizza to be taken to cyeow hse and eat .....we were like laughing at you ..and how you would talk and cyeow would ask you to shut up and continue eating and but eventually you would continue to talk again and shared so many stuff with us ....
On the 14th ...things change forever in my life .....we were suppose to go to have tea together at around 12 in the afternoon , but then i changed my plan coz my mum needed me to go to the market to buy stuff so i cancelled the plan .....and i remembered at 12.30pm sharp ...u called me"
aifang...what time are we going to cyeow hse ar ." ...then i replied " i m not going wor ..i m on my way to my mum's office now "...she was like" ok la ..then nvrmind la ..bye "...because we would usually meet in cyeow hse bfr we go anywhere and i will alwys pick her up because her hse would be on the way to cyeow's hse...so then sandra called cyeow up saying that she would meet her at her hse for a movie marathon instead at 3 pm . Around 4.30pm ...i received a call that broke my heart from cyeow ...She told me Sandra is dead in a car accident ...i couldnt believe it ...i told cyeow to calm down as she was crying when she called me ...i said it cannot be true ...is she just passes out or something ...i dunno ..so then i called to sandra's phone ...someone picked up but was speaking in malay and i was not really able to hear wht she said ..so then i tried to call to her hse again ....no answer .......then cyeow called again ....she said it was confirmed ...Sandra died ...i was like ..how can it be possible ...it cant be real ...there must be some mistakes ...there must be wrong somewhere ....i refused to believe ..so i calmed myself .....i drove to the hospital ...my heart sunk when i saw sandra's mum .at the emergency entrance ...auntie soh fay was crying and was telling me that Sandra didnt make it .......i couldnt believe at the moment ....i push the mother aside ...and run outside ..i refused to believe it ...it cannot be real ..it is just a dream ..how can that be true ......i just talked to her hours ago ....how can it happen without a signal ...sandra would nvr leave without telling goodbye ....i was angry ...i was in grief ...i told myself ...as long as you havent seen her yet , there is still a chance that she is still alive ...i stayed at the hospital till night that day and i couldnt sleep the whole night even though i was really tired .
i woke up 5 in the morning ......looking at facebook ...all her photo ....i started crying , crying , my tears just could stop dropping down ...i hate myself for being so weak ...i was sad...i was in grief ..i miss her so much ..there is still alot of things that we havent done together ....how can u leave like that without saying goodbye ...i hate you and yet i love u so much that i hate to see you leave like this...So about 8am , i went to hospital , it was the most horrible day of my life ...nvr experience so much pain bfr in my life...after arranging all the stuff the whole morning , afternoon we could finally take sandra's body ...it was a long journey as the family has decided to donate her cornea and her long bone ...i went to the forensic toegtehr with the mum while cyeow was handling the reporter ...Sandra had multiple fractured from her head to toe ..it really break my heart just to even hear it from the forensic ..i couldnt bear to hear it but i know taht i have to go through with auntie soh fay ...she is a strong woman ..uncle jimmy was hospitalized in the ICU due to the accident as well ....
sorry i couldnt write anymore ...i feel like crying if i write further....i dun wan to write anymore ....i will share with yall again when i m ready .....
i just want you , sandra to know that i will always be ur big sister , dun worry about ur family , i will take good care of them on behalf of you ...always remember that i will always miss you ...


aifang
p/s i will always love you , sandra ...R.I.P